Gentlemen:
Like all good Americans,
and despite our busy touring
schedule,
we have been closely following
the dire developments in the
Middle East. We are particularly
concerned with the plight of
Americans stranded in the war-torn
state of Lebanon and with the
faltering attempts to evacuate
them.
As you may already
know, we are currently performing
nightly with Michael McDonald,
formerly of the Doobie Brothers.
Mike is a long time collaborator
of ours and moreover a close
personal friend of defense expert
Jeff "Skunk" Baxter.
So you could check out Mike's
bona fides with Jeff (unless
he is, as we suspect, already "in-country" on
a mission and thus unreachable).
Anyhoo, Mike is the proud owner
of a smallish yacht which we
would like to volunteer for whatever
kind of evacuation plan is now
being contemplated by you or
the DOD.
Mike's boat holds
about seven people and is in
relatively shipshape condition.
It has a working head and two
sports fishing stations on the
poopdeck or whatever you call
that part of the boat. There's
lots of fishing tackle and assorted
goodies, including the latest
iteration of the famous "Bass-O-Matic" lures.
There is also a bitching stereo
on board, chock full of smooth
70's and early 80's classics
- Chris Cross, Mike & Steely
McD, Kenny Loggins, Pablo Cruise,
you name it. So it would be a
very comfortable trip for the
four or five lucky evacuees.
There is room on the front deck
for a 20 mm deck cannon.
The name of the boat is "Yamo
B." but it occurs to us
that there are already too many
funny-sounding names in the news
these days. Thus it could be
changed to something more appropriate,
such as "Babylon Sista".
Please let us know as soon as
possible if there is a role for
this splendid vessel in this
historic evacuation. We have
not yet spoken to Mike about
this plan but we feel confident
he will be willing to help. Time
is of the essence - Mike's boat
is currently deployed is his
front yard in Nashville, so whatever
lead time we can get would be
helpful in ensuring the success
of our mission.
We sincerely hope you will consider
this generous offer and let us
contribute to the effort. We
certainly don't want to have
to send Mike over there as a
private citizen to pitch in -
there's been more than enough
celebrity hotdogging at various
disaster scenes as it is.
In exchange for
Mike's help, would you consider
a link to Steelydan.com on the
FEMA website? It doesn't seem
like much to ask for when there
are American lives hanging in
the balance.
Our manager Irving Azoff will
be expecting your call. So long
for now!
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